I was Jealous of your relationship, but not anymore

Hello, my name is Efua and I’m new on Shepherd’s blog. My relationship with him would be discussed sometime later, but for now, let’s concentrate on my relationship with other relationships. And expect more from me.

As a lady in her early 20’s I have been in more than 3 relationships, most of which ended unexpectedly bitter and sour.

I kind of wonder how people make it last in a relationship and we could be in this together. Have you ever been on your Facebook time line and scrolling through endless photos of seemingly “perfect couples”? Sometimes I would just go on Instagram and just search the hash tag #love to see just how sweet and lovely relationships seem to be going. I admit, I’m jealous of all these relationships. How is it that I’m not in any one of these sweet relationships?

Take this away from social media and I look at some of my friends in school, at work and at church. OMG! The cute Kwame is going out with Sandra, someone I am more beautiful and sweeter than. I gave Kwame all the signs and after just two weeks of enjoyable sex, he seem to just lose interest. Everyone dating around me is happy, and even when I get to date, it’s all sadness and problems and troubles and trust issues and sexual mistakes and this and those and an ex coming back and cheating and no time for me and no time for the relationship and all the ands that will make me unhappy and sad and terrible and dejected!

I’m right to be jealous of those relationships, but maybe I shouldn’t be jealous at all.

Come to think of it, other couples’ happiness has no effect on mine. Why get jealous of Serwaa and Richard when their happiness does not even affect mine? A waste of emotions indeed! I won’t allow jealousy to waste my time when I can refocus my energy into becoming the lady I should be.

I would have wanted to end this here, but let me just say relationships are not all so nice like they look. I have been in multiple ones and I know you could testify to this not so glorious truth. There may be smiles on the surface, but the whole story could be just 5% smiles.

Finally, I realized through the hard way that it doesn’t pay to be jealous of something which in no way affects you. I will make my relationship one that will make any other person envious and that’s just about it.

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